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Created by : Saswati Biswas, Product Development Manager, Tata Motors  | 11 24 2009 06:30:57 +0000
Industry : Human Resources (HR) ConsultingFunctional Area : Performance Management(People Management)
Activity:  893 views;  last activity : 07 06 2010 20:18:09 +0000

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In today's date we can see working women everywhere. We women have expertised ourselves in almost every sectors and many a times, even perform better than our male colligues. But there is one more place where we do a lot of labour which men don't-Our home especially, towards our children. Because of spending most of the time outside, we hardly get time to spend with our family. Our children miss our motherly love and thats the reason, these days, the trend of NANYs are increasing.

Therefore i want to ask all the working mothers out there if they also go through the same feeling of guilt? and if you do how do you overcome it ?

 
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Top Argument
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I am a working mother and work under constant guilt of not being able to take care of my child my self. I leave him behind with the maid. To make up for all the lost time, I end up doing all that he asks for (giving into his whims and fancies) I don't know if its for fighting that guilt or its my way of expressing love towards my kid..


By Saswati Biswas, Product Development Manager, Tata Motors  11 24 2009 06:30:57 +0000
 
Top Argument
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A working mother need not feel guilty as she does it for the wellbeing of her children too. If she knows how to strike a balance between her responsibilities as a mother and an employee, the child never feels missing her. In today’s fast living scene, any child beyond the age of 4 will also not be at home for 6 – 8 hours during the day time.  There are many care centres, where children in neonatal and preschool age are taken care of even more better than a tensed mother does. If working mothers feel guilty of leaving their children at home, the sons and daughters of age old parents should also feel so, right!  


By Resmi Maxim, GENERAL MANAGER - OPERATIONS, SI PROPERTY (KERALA) PVT.LTD.,  11 24 2009 09:43:17 +0000
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Yes, they do. It is clearly the dilemma between the job and the child. At one hand it is struggle for the livelihood and at the other hand it is a part of one's own being. I think it is quiet natural. However balance one may strike among whatever things, it remains a fact that a working mother has to stay away from her child. The more understanding and support she receives from her family the more she feels better.


By Chetanram G. Shewale, Buying and Merchandising - Ecommerce, CBL  | 11 25 2009 10:45:43 +0000
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Yes they do but again not all moms have a choice looking at the cost of living these days and on the other hand there are a few who do make a big sacrifice of giving up their jobs in spite of the crisis.


By Alka Thakur, Technical Support Manager, Vendio Services and a freelance German Translator  | 11 24 2009 09:38:44 +0000
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Yes, because of spending; least value time with kids and home i.e. improper time management. Women also knows that only they can manage Home/Kids better. Home does asks for time! and Woman is the Home Maker!!

This can be overruled by-

  • Waking up early in morning.. trust me.. 
  • And a Fine tuning with your Husband

Else the guilt will be there.. esp when the kids needs your attention and you neglect them anyhow.. !! That was the best time to shun other work and concentrate at Home!! Best of luck!


By Satwinder Singh, Program Manager, Confidential  | 11 24 2009 08:57:35 +0000
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I do agree with all, But I have come across so many working mothers who feel very guilty... especially those who have very demanding jobs that involves travel and to some extent the child also makes you feel guilty. As you rightly said it depends on the individual, how she plans and organizes her schedule.. but even i want to know how...?


By Darshana Sawant, HR Manager, Leading IT services company  | 11 24 2009 08:27:05 +0000
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@ Jyotsna, I disagree with your statement that working moms give kids sense of pride... are you trying to say that the kids of housewives lack sense of pride and accomplishment? But you should remember that kids with both the working parents suffer the most, since they are deprived of supervision, guidance and love that only moms can shower and not their substitutes. Kids either end up being spoilt brats or are emotionally weak. You can for sure make up for the lost time by buying them all that they want but believe me they need more than that which is mother's love and guidance.In short ,having a working mother is harmful for a kid.


By Akhilesh Nimje, Associate, Kotak Mahindra  | 11 24 2009 06:43:27 +0000
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As long as you can strike the balance....it depends on the financial freedom also. If you've the freedom to choose the right job which suits you to strike that balance..well & good! Otherwise it'd be a tensed mother running around!


By Shyne U, Project Architect  | 12 03 2009 18:39:28 +0000
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It is general view that a child should be under the care of his/her mother at least till he/she attains 3, in olden time it was 5. Both, mother and child has got equal importance, and there fore they are viewed accordingly. Taking in to consideration the present conditions, the employment need of a female in the family has become more important for its well being. As mentioned by others, right now we have all infrastructure to take care a child from the age of 3 wihout being distinguidhed the difference. As such there is  no need to be guilty, it is enough to look after it rest of the time.  


By RAMANATHA PRABHU N, Chartered Accountant  | 12 01 2009 09:04:04 +0000
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Working moms and working to meet the day to day needs of their children and it is for the upliftment of kids . They need not feel guilty for this.

Even if she is going for working, she ensures that her kids are in the safe hands who look after them properly.


By Resmi.S.C , Supervisor - 4th Dimension , SI Property Kerala Pvt.Ltd  | 11 26 2009 06:17:50 +0000
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In today's date we can see working women everywhere in every sector, playing multiple roles as wife, as a mother. I think women shouldn't feel guilty because they should focus on quality time with their family rather than quantity... because today lifestyle is also a busy schedule...... everyone can understand about it


By Vishwanath Aiyer, HR Manager- Recruitments, M2S Consulting (India) P. Ltd  | 11 24 2009 17:11:21 +0000
1
0

Although I'm a man I can understand you feel guikty but it is diferent somwhere else. Here in Europe moms working are many and it is considered normal. THAT makes quite a difference.


By Gilbert PRIEUR, Morphopsychologist Expert, Nemopsy  | 11 24 2009 09:06:35 +0000
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Gargi is right, and for guilt feelings..they can come without warning. Most of the working mothers feel guilty at one time or the another in their life. But as a working mother, it is very imp. to feel comfortable with your decision first. though many people feel that by working, mothers are taking something valuable away from their kids time. while i would like to correct them that we (working moms) give more to our kids then just taking care, a sense of pride and accomplishment, a role model and more financial freedom!!!!!


By Jyotsna Panwar, Trading Advisor, ICICI Securities  | 11 24 2009 08:38:10 +0000
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no,I don't think so ... It all depends on quality time spent with kids rather than quantity..I think working moms kids are more independent compared to the others. But you must remember and ensure that kids remain your top priority.. being a mother you can't choose career over them, its not right! Though balancing both is difficult but then lot of women do it..


By Gargi Sinha, Senior Consultant, Hewitt Associates  | 11 24 2009 06:34:52 +0000
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