It cannot be bought down to a simple case of yes vs no. It all depends on situations and love shown by the families. I have seen many cases of husbands treating the wife's parents as their own in terms of the respect and love shown and so also the woman. I dont see any problem in either the husband or wife adopting each others family as their own after all a union of body and mind would result in a union of everything else associated with it. But like i said it differes from case to case. If a husbdands family treats the daughter-in-law with suspicion from the first day, why should she adopt that family as their own. At the end of the day it all boils down to trust, love and faith. I have known cases where the daughter-in-law is so sought after that she doesnt think of her natural parents because she is respected and treated like a daughter in the first place. So also should the case be with the husband. the girls family shouldnt treat him as just a Jamai but rather like their own son and consult and trust him in all their decisions. Whoever shows this kind of love and affection will certainly benefit as a family.
By
Jaygopal Raghavan, Marketing Manager, Landmark Group
| 03 12 2011 16:54:19 +0000
In my opinion the answer will be yes. Indian women have mastered anything and everything which a woman can dream of. But she still has to go a long way to achieve equal status in the minds of Indian men. She does every thing for thier family members and for thier husband but when it is time to compare between the daughter of the house and daughter in law you always find a difference. It is the husband's family who never accept thier daughter in law as a daughter. May be in some families the difference between them is minor but it will count a difference.
By
Tanima , First Medical Services Pvt. Ltd.
| 02 24 2011 10:23:04 +0000
Thanx for referring me absolutely girls accept there husband family as like there own family. because the need to go that family and adjest. in this way any how they accept that family very easily.
By
Namrata Chauhan, IT recruiter, Pinaki Consultant
| 02 24 2011 09:46:07 +0000
Oh I miss the “Baa, Bahu and Baby” drama aren’t they having any reruns? Ok jokes apart, Shilpa’s analysis is well formed though in todays metro life yes women are independent and they are opiniated as well. By this the category is not limited to the young marriageable women only, women on the whole have started to form and exercise their opinions a little more assertively than what they use to do a couple of decades earlier. Now when commitment and compromise factors are seen in play, a women plays the factors easily still, on the other hand the man has to work much harder to attain these. But the adjustment in family life is a gradual and mutual process, if, even one of the elements are missed the family suffers the most. Currently young couples prefer a nucleated lifestyle but soon when the family extends and children arrive, the need for experienced parenting and that extra bit of support is needed from the families, more prevalent from the husband’s corner. So girls would act sensibly and accept the husband’s family.
By
Shiuli Mukherji, Head Strategy Plan- , Region SEA
| 02 24 2011 07:46:31 +0000
They are supposed to do that as per hindu tradition at least.But some of them do understand that and adopted that just like milk in panchamrit. The others find it difficult and not able to continue.
By
B.G.Jhaveri , Head/VP/GM-Tech. Support, Self employed
| 02 23 2011 16:51:13 +0000
I agree with Shilpa. It is realy admirable that a girl adjusts herself in a new family, takes care of husband, inlaws & other family members. I have seen a lot of examples including my family.
By
Paresh Dhembare, Area Sales Manager, ICICI Bank Ltd
| 02 23 2011 16:23:13 +0000
WHOM SOEVER IT MAY CONCERN "Do Girls really Accept their Mother-in Law as their Own Mother" Its a debate that cannot be concluded EVER.Its a thought process of an INDIVIDUAL choice. If You protest in your debate, You are doing injustice to sect who find this meaningless as they vouch for Love in relationship. Individuals Girls reacts based on the environment they get on the first few days SHE comes in the new house.When She gets ALL open -Handed with Love , this phrase don't arise. If the New family is very possessive of their things , the Girl reciprocates by least caring are HUSband's FAMILY.
By
sourav ghosh, Project Leader/Managing Consultant, Oracle Fianancial Software Services
| 02 23 2011 09:10:20 +0000
yes they do, bcoz with their parents they spend only 20-25 yrs but with her in -laws till death. she may consider her mother in law as mother, but they wont accept her as her daughter. difference lies here. we can b frank to our mother but if try to b frank with mother in law, she wont like it... difference lies here. so this relation needs nourishing from both sides, then it can b a successful relationship./
By
Irina Rana, Project and placement Head, Synergy Mania
| 02 23 2011 03:57:23 +0000
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It cannot be bought down to a simple case of yes vs no. It all depends on situations and love shown by the families. I have seen many cases of husbands treating the wife's parents as their own in terms of the respect and love shown and so also the woman. I dont see any problem in either the husband or wife adopting each others family as their own after all a union of body and mind would result in a union of everything else associated with it. But like i said it differes from case to case. If a husbdands family treats the daughter-in-law with suspicion from the first day, why should she adopt that family as their own. At the end of the day it all boils down to trust, love and faith. I have known cases where the daughter-in-law is so sought after that she doesnt think of her natural parents because she is respected and treated like a daughter in the first place. So also should the case be with the husband. the girls family shouldnt treat him as just a Jamai but rather like their own son and consult and trust him in all their decisions. Whoever shows this kind of love and affection will certainly benefit as a family.
By
Jaygopal Raghavan, Marketing Manager, Landmark Group
| 03 12 2011 16:54:23 +0000
Particularly educated and working professional girls consider in-laws as nuisances.Very rarely they listen and bring the good cultures of their own parents.Their own commands are more important for them and publicly flaunt the same to others to show how obedient their husbands are to them.The results?All through their own lives, the issues remain alive, joint families disintegrate and they remain unhappy.When the issues go out of hands, they leave the houses with allegations of 498A. The most agonizing fact is all the laws are in their favors.So why not give the lessons to the husbands and their families?
By
Dipak Bhattacharya, Chief Engineer, SCSPL
| 02 26 2011 19:12:49 +0000
Miss shilpa by my observation I found that attitude of Male from family is same for all guest but it differ in the case of female. If u Compare any couple from your family you will find the same thing. Thanks all for your participation in debate.
By
Ravindra C Nalawade, Sr. Engineer, CMS Infosystem Ltd
| 02 25 2011 02:40:23 +0000
There is an increasing trend where husbands are being forced to accept all the wishes of their wives at the cost of family relationships under the threat of invoking Dowry act article 498A. More and more youngsters are compelled to leave their aged parents or dependants. A real life example was recently seen in a reality show on Indian TV.
By
Pradeep Saran, Technical Expert
| 02 24 2011 11:07:46 +0000
I have been reading all opinions. Just wanted to say - for the ones on 'Yes', i am happpy u got a good partner, while for the ones on 'No' (me being one of them) i wish u guys all the best. Don't worry be happy, nature will take its own course and whatever has to happen will happen no matter how much we try and get annoyed.
By
Deep , Key Account Manager, Advertising
| 02 24 2011 09:09:32 +0000
It is not whole hearted acceptance Shilpa. with your mother you will have freeness & at time, why most of the time you will be indeciplined, where as with Mom In Law you cannot enjoy such kind of liniency/ freedom. Certain degree of decipline must be maintained. How to be in her good books that will different issue we debate under separate Head. Yes oflate son-in-laws are becoming son and sons are becoming son-in-laws. so boys are caring more for their father in law than their own father when compared to the earlier days. You know shipa now a days they address them as Parent-In-Law. what more you want.
By
nagesh rao, Freelancer, Freelancer
| 02 24 2011 07:09:39 +0000
Thanks shilpa for referring this debate. Its a Billion Dollor question. mmm. The truth to my knowledge is that, they really want to do so, But it never possible for them to do so.
By
Kandavel Raja, Project Manager, Sobha Developers Ltd
| 02 23 2011 11:58:53 +0000
no that can t b possible. it can be more than or less than but cant be parallel to their family. i feel so.
By
RASHI , Assistant Professor, xyz
| 02 23 2011 11:51:23 +0000
Almost many times the respect depends upon the money and property owned by her in-laws. Otherwise conflicts among girls and husband's parents are well-known and common in India. Most of the saas-bahu serials depict how dirty and money based such relations are. And this is a very bitter truth, in majority cases girls dislike husband's parents or other relatives even. She always dreams to live alone with her husband ( and possibly with her own parents, brothers and sisters)
By
Vishwas , -, --
| 02 23 2011 10:24:19 +0000
WHOM SOEVER IT MAY CONCERN "Do Girls really Accept their Mother-in Law as their Own Mother" Its a debate that cannot be concluded EVER.Its a thought process of an INDIVIDUAL choice. If You protest in your debate, You are doing injustice to sect who find this meaningless as they vouch for Love in relationship. Individuals Girls reacts based on the environment they get on the first few days SHE comes in the new house.When She gets ALL open -Handed with Love , this phrase don't arise. If the New family is very possessive of their things , the Girl reciprocates by least caring are HUSband's FAMILY.
By
sourav ghosh, Project Leader/Managing Consultant, Oracle Fianancial Software Services
| 02 23 2011 09:28:50 +0000
I think no girls not thinking husband's family as own family,b'coz now a days girls want Independence house and want to be separately then how they can say?they like husband family. if girls get problem in their own family they wont think that this is problem and they wont blame to any one but if they get toughness and little problem in in-law's house they will blame and start's fighting and makes husband to leave house stay separately.they can not understand the husband problem and feeling,girls are selfish and moody they need their benefit and happiness....
By
Ram Krishna Sahu (Biochemist & Microbiologist), Dr.GR Damodaran college of Science
| 02 23 2011 08:46:09 +0000
It's a sure N0. and this is becoming the main cause of a drastic increase in the Divorce rate these days. Girls of today want independence and care only for abt herself and maybe her husband. they give a damn about those who are dependent on her husband. They forget that their husband is a son first to his parents. These days the trend is such that, girls will not leave their parents house after marriage, instead wants the guy to shift there. If they object then there is a clear law - Dowry Harrasment that is used to get things done.
By
Deep , Key Account Manager, Advertising
| 02 23 2011 08:25:12 +0000
Just stay aside that "Saas-Bahu" war. Is she treat the guest from husband family[as husband mother sister] as she treat the her own parent-family guest[as her mother sister]. I dont think so.
By
Ravindra C Nalawade, Sr. Engineer, CMS Infosystem Ltd
| 02 23 2011 05:34:04 +0000
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