Emotions of the other woman

For men, a woman is an essential object of lust. Women engage in sex without love to overcome monotony, out of monetary greed or the poor ones, for livelihood purposes. But it is sustaining emotion that every human being is in search of. I’ve understood from early on in my 30-year consulting profession that to excel in delivering sustaining emotion I have to master anthropology, psychology and sociology. Living in France I did that from highly recognised French professionals. This helped me bring sustaining emotion for products and services from end-customers of different industries in the world.

In professional research I interact with numerous kinds of people, more women than men as they are the biggest spenders in the world. In handling about 2000 projects from engineering design, medical, food, luxury goods to feminine products like cosmetics, perfume and lingerie design, I had to study the emotions of different hues of womenfolk. For example, for women’s lingerie in Europe it was important to portray the woman’s character as extremely provocative and exuberance to attract men while simultaneously evoke acute jealousy in other woman.

The first time I went to Pompeii, a city near Naples, Italy, buried by volcanic eruption from Mount Vesuvius in 79AD, it was after reading about the hygienic, legal brothels of that time still visible today. In 1862 ancient Pompeii’s colourful whorehouse Lupanare was excavated. Its risqué murals exhibiting varieties of creative sexual positions advertised the services on offer. So unlike, I thought, from the hypocrisy that tries to hide the other woman today. Whether it’s the escort girl, mistress or prostitute, men use them, but has a thought ever been spared for the concealed emotion these women feel?

Escort girl: Even in India newspapers openly advertise the services of an escort girl. It’s quite normal that models and celebrities excite men, but their hidden fantasy for the exotic is revealed in the ads promoting highly educated society girls, young air hostesses, foreigners, or students. Escort girls have said that working in a company is too restrictive with basic, stressful work and no hope for job escalation. As an escort girl she can have huge earnings, better than a CEO, the work is relaxed, independent, there’s choice of working hours, taking a day off, and better still, she can choose her client. She can judge the quality of a man’s sexual requirement from the telephonic call and give her involvement accordingly. If a man’s emotional expression is high, she knows she can earn like an unlimited taxi metre bill.

The experienced escort girl cribs that the younger ones earn more with less work. The rate for 18 to 23-year-olds is high, a little lower for 24 to 30-year-olds, but the 30+ experience a huge fall in earning. In the case of accompanying a man for a romantic escapade, the escort girl tends to fall in love with his tenderness in exotic locales in those few days. She stops taking other client calls, but at the end the man quits as per the deal. It’s very difficult for these young girls to keep real emotion hidden, to realise later the insincerity of displayed human sentiment.

Mistress: A woman of 35 to 40 years can easily succumb to becoming a mistress, not for economic comfort, but because she misjudges the strength of her own emotion for the man she cannot fully call her own. In her sincerity she tries to make him happier than happy. The man laps up this energetic dose that fills the gap in his boring life. If the woman slowly becomes possessive, trouble starts. Men are at ease in this ambiguous situation if there is no pressure.

Then there is the 45-year-old married woman who’s fed up with family routine. Accumulating all her husband’s defects in her mind, she falls intensely in love with another man. If he’s a younger bachelor, he would try in great reciprocal love to get this married woman as his wife, but she will never rock her family boat. She loves her duel life, the revengeful grandeur of getting her own back. A married woman is an exciting mistress, men enjoy the strong feeling of jealousy, and her nurturing role. The mistress tries to find a confidant to talk about her restless lover’s passionate love plus how she’s handling her husband and society. But she is true to both, she won’t hurt either husband or lover, she just wants challenging love to make her life inconsistent.

Christine Deviers-Joncour, 56, author of her memoirs called "Whore of the Republic" is best known in France as a mistress. Between 1989 and 1997, she was mistress to Roland Dumas, a former Resistance fighter, foreign minister and head of France’s highest court.  For four years, she was being paid by the Elf oil company to smooth its relations with the government, via her lover. As per prosecutors, Christine received around £7.5 million in salary, expenses and bribes. Dumas admitted his love affair, but denied ever being politically swayed by his mistress. He got off on appeal. This prompted everyone in Paris to say it was all a fix, the politician walked free, the mistress spent six months in jail. Dumas didn’t even speak to her on her return from jail. She has nothing now, lives off the goodwill of her friends. Hers is a classic tale of love gone awry.

Sex worker: An anonymous quote says, “Prostitutes have very improperly been styled women of pleasure; they are women of pain, or sorrow, of bitter and continual repentance.” The tragedy of sex workers is that they have to become experts on emotion selling while stonewalling their real emotions. Drama is their most sustaining factor. They cannot refuse anybody and very quickly read their client’s facial expression to address the relevant sentiment. For regular clients, displaying emotion is critical. It seems that lower income clients are sensitive and sincere. For wealthy men, increasing the bill size is no problem if the woman can demonstrate heartfelt emotion.

Men entice prostitutes, make them fall in love with the promise of protection and marriage, but when the woman gets involved, the men do not return. With a tear in their eyes the women say they call themselves sex workers because sex is their livelihood. Their business is jeopardised if they cannot magnify instant emotion sharing with clients. The famous 20^th century painter Henry de Toulouse Lautrec lived for a while in a brothel near Moulin Rouge, Paris, the landmark for cabaret shows today. With mutual love and respect he captured their subliminal feelings in paintings, and said prostitutes were the best possible models as they never consciously posed.

It’s women’s emotion, whether real or not, that runs the male world. Sex, money, emotion, love and drama all combine when having a relationship with a mistress, escort girl or sex worker. To really understand the human psyche, give some thinking space to this hidden aspect of social life to get a chalk-and-cheese understanding of human emotion.

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