Laughter is the best medicine!!

Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are in
loud discussions during office time.....

Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happened
to a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss"

They're asking for Rs.10 Crore ransom, otherwise they're going to
douse him with petrol and set him on fire.

We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection."

One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?

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"About 1 liter."

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Last night my wife and I were sitting in the living room, talking about
life... we talked about the idea of living on life support or dying without
it ... I said to her: ' Never let me live in a vegetative state ... totally
dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle... If you see me in that
state , I want you to disconnect all the contraptions that are keeping me
alive, I'd much rather die'.

She got up from the sofa with this real look of admiration towards me...and
proceeded to disconnect the TV, the Cable, the Dish, the DVD, the Computer,
the Cell Phone, the Ipod, and the Xbox, and then went to the fridge and
threw away all my beer!!

...I ALMOST DIED!!!'

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A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you
take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The
man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was
astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again
the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will
run over you, and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as
a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. "Who are you?" I am your guardian angel," the voice
answered. "Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got
married?"

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I think all wives should read this!!!
"Guys..think twice before u complain...

He didn't like the curry
And he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard...
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't prepare the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Isn't there anything I could do
To match his mothers shoe
Then I smiled as I saw light
One thing I could definitely do
I turned around and slapped him tight...
Like his mother used to !!!!!

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WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

HUSBAND: Definitely not!

WIFE: Why not - don't you like being married?

HUSBAND: Of course I do.

WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry?

HUSBAND: Okay, I'd get married again.

WIFE: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face.)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: Would you live in our house?

HUSBAND: Sure, it's a great house.

WIFE: Would you sleep with her in our bed?

HUSBAND: Where else would we sleep?

WIFE: Would you let her drive my car?

HUSBAND: Probably, it is almost new.

WIFE: Would you replace my pictures with hers?

HUSBAND: That would seem like the proper thing to do.

WIFE: Would she use my golf clubs?

HUSBAND: No, she's left-handed.

WIFE: - - - silence - -

HUSBAND: Oh Shit!!!!!

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