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Topic : Save Marriage
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By : Dr Ali Ahmad, Medical Superintendent/Director, Surbhi Hospital
Activity:  29 comments  1040 views  last activity : 11 06 2011 17:21:28 +0000
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Dear Friends this is something sent to me by a friend. Please read

 

 

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you... She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce... I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chop sticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.

But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company... She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy... Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions... She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully...

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time... I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "all my dresses have grown bigger…” I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

.

.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind.... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears.

I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

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.

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.

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.

.

.

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That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I ran up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead....... I cried and cried uncontrollably and carried her for the last time from the room to the hall with tears streaming down my face and gazing at my only son, his tears rolling from his eyes, they made me cry even more. I had lost my love, my wife and a loving and caring mother and nothing I could do now to put the clock backward... I had all the time now to look at her motionless body in detail but I knew it was going to be only for a short while until she made her last journey to the Lord..... I held my son and wept again and again thinking of all the things I did not do for her when she was still alive....... & placed gently the flowers in her hands with my tears trickling on them....... she was gone forever, all my tears would not bring her back .

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship.

It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank.

These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.

Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you might just save a marriage.

To those who are married… Not married... and soon to be married THE TIME IS ALWAYS RIGHT TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT Moral of the story is to value all the things we possess, once they are gone we have nothing but regrets!

 Top Comment : RAHUL SMITH   | 08 07 2010 08:01:24 +0000
A touching story Ali.. Thanks for reminding the value of relation and true love which is now a days very rare to see
 
29 comments on "Marriage-To those who are married... Not married..and soon to be married....(An article i came across)"
  Commented by  sheriff r mohideen, General Mnager -Technical, Origin Foods Limited    | 04 10 2011 05:14:05 +0000
Divorcew is the last resort , much hated and awful thing to do
  Commented by  Dr.Narendra Bahadur Singh, Sr REPORTER, TRIGUT HINDI DANIK NEWS PAPER    | 04 09 2011 17:59:44 +0000
nice and heart touching but not so expressionfull
  Commented by  R K Gupta, CEO/MD/Director, Veejay Sales Pvt Ltd    | 09 25 2010 11:10:56 +0000
Just Beautifull said !!!
  Commented by  R K Gupta, CEO/MD/Director, Veejay Sales Pvt Ltd    | 09 25 2010 11:10:32 +0000
Just Beautifull said !!!
  Commented by  kushal aggarwal, student, chinmaya international residential school    | 08 13 2010 10:43:02 +0000
thank you first and its true now sharing of feelings has become less among the youth and now we have to figure out the reasons to it
  Commented by  Dr.M.Lakshmi bala, Faculty, Gnanam School of Business    | 08 13 2010 09:41:23 +0000
very nice.credit goes to ur friend. let all men understand their spouse feeling.
  Commented by  Dr.G.S.Rama Rao, Freelancer, Public Sector/Government    | 08 12 2010 11:37:12 +0000
A Nice story.
  Commented by  krishnamohan cheemakurthi, Tech Architect, Ericsson India Private Ltd    | 08 10 2010 08:36:05 +0000
It is good article , 
  Commented by  Guruprasad A Deshpande, Team Leader -(NonTechnical), Infosys BPO Ltd.    | 08 09 2010 13:35:57 +0000
Good One
  Commented by  AMISH, MANAGER - INSTITUTIONAL SALES, AMISH    | 08 09 2010 12:55:15 +0000
Nice one.
  Commented by  George Varghese, Proprietor, Jecyees    | 08 09 2010 12:43:29 +0000
Sumita and Dr. Ali thanks for the good story.
  Commented by  yogesh deshpande, Management consultant for Sales, leadership, Wealth mangerment and self help, Management Consultant    | 08 09 2010 12:18:19 +0000
Thanks Dr that was really touching, and i promise you all my 6121 contacts will have it. Thanks again.
  Commented by  Darshana Sawant, HR Manager, Leading IT services company    | 08 09 2010 12:15:30 +0000
Really a touching story.........thanks for sharing this.
  Commented by  Rathin Deb, Resident Manager, Tower Infotech Ltd.    | 08 09 2010 11:40:36 +0000
Thanks Dr. for a nice story.
  Commented by  sumita, BUSINESS MANAGER, IELTS    | 08 09 2010 11:03:11 +0000
Ali, it is a rejuvinating story. I would say that if people understand the emotions and expectations in a marriage then no one would have ever had a broken marriage. but the plight is that sometimes people knowingly do not want to understand things and become rigid. Marriage is not about getting what you want its about giving that you can. Thanks for such a nice piece of practical knowledge on human behaviour.
  Commented by  S.Subash, G.M. MKTG., Romaa Housing Pvt Limited - Romaa Group.    | 08 09 2010 09:57:34 +0000
some dont look into small pretty things
they peep into telescope probing the sky
some dont like the way wife sings
but bear with a donkey which infact cry..
love a soul which gives you its life
shedding tears in the kitchen with onion and knife
keep out the watch , when you walk into the house
Open this beautifull book called spouse...

your story, real or fiction ....absolutely touching. value based. need of the hour.
  Commented by  Priya Varadan, Independent consultant, Self employed    | 08 09 2010 07:09:15 +0000
Nice one , thanks
  Commented by  diksha, lecturer, SBN law college    | 08 08 2010 16:01:13 +0000
really touching. 
  Commented by  Abraham Paul, Owner, FCOMNET- Future Groups    | 08 08 2010 12:58:55 +0000
Mutual relation is identical to principle of simple Chemisty. 
Rapid interaction happens when two mutually active matters 
initially joined togther and as time passes the activity 
die down amd the two matters lose its original idividuality 
and identity and  becomes a substance of new form of 
different characteristics which is the intention of the 
activity. 
The progression of successfully blended family shall be 
somewhat identical to above chemical reaction as the initial
accelerated activity level slowly becoming less and less, 
the two individuals shall gracefully and meaniningfully blend 
into one in all matters concerning the substance of family, 
without allowing their individual egos and ethos come in 
the way. The art lies in the capability and capacity of the 
involved individuals to adjust and accomodate each other 
without loosing their truly valuable traits and worthy 
to keep original individualities.

Otherwise it will be like a compound of different
substances which do not react each other and can become 
seperate and ready to fall apart any time. 
  Commented by  Dr Ali Ahmad, Medical Superintendent/Director, Surbhi Hospital    | 08 08 2010 06:54:36 +0000
Thanks every one who have read this post, and for all the comments. It is indeed an touching story. At times we just take people in our life as granted, it is only when we loose some one/thing we understand the true importance.
  Commented by  Mohammad Bakhsh, Project Leader/Managing Consultant, Freelancer    | 08 08 2010 03:37:43 +0000
Rating : +1 
 A very beautiful and loving story.Now a days relation between husband and wife bears resemblance of passengers in the train.Where they meet and hardly talk and leave.They live as strangers.Here in the story,spouse used the very beautiful psychometric,but she was hurt beyond repair.She understood that there was no way to salvage the love and saving the marriage was no solution.She broke down every time,he lead her to the way he did at the time of marriage.The husband was still aloof without reading her body language and lost her.
Moral:Please spend quality time with your family and share what is troubling you inside.
Thanks,Manoj for referring such a beautiful story and to Dr Ali for sharing with toostepians a touching story. 
  Commented by  NATTERAJA R. ARIKRISHNAN, Area Sales Manager, HPL INDIA LTD, CHENNAI    | 08 07 2010 18:08:07 +0000
very heart touching 
Thanks for the referral Dr.Ali Ahmad and Mr.Manoj Kumar.
  Commented by  Nitin M Aras, Head/VP/GM-Tech. Support, Wintech Taparia Limited    | 08 07 2010 14:58:10 +0000
Dr Ali...very practical and real psychic treatment to those who do not believe in marriage association..... good one... appreciated 
  Commented by  Nitin M Aras, Head/VP/GM-Tech. Support, Wintech Taparia Limited    | 08 07 2010 14:57:55 +0000
Dr Ali...very practical and real psychic treatment to those who do not believe in marriage association..... good one... appreciated 
  Commented by  SHRIKANT MANOHAR DANKE, Consultant, Project Management Consultancy Firm    | 08 07 2010 11:59:52 +0000
No words to express. It's eye wetting.
Thanks for referral, Manoj.
  Commented by  Naushad H.L., Creative Director, MAD COMMUNICATION    | 08 07 2010 08:42:01 +0000
BEAUTIFUL...  VERY TOUCHING  !

THANKS.
  Commented by  ANAND M, Freelancer, Human Resources (HR) Consulting    | 08 07 2010 08:24:07 +0000
Fantastic story to say that love is invincible...if you are married then your partner is the one whom God has made for you....but if not then don't worry you will get your soul mate..
  Commented by  Yatish Kuril, CEO/MD/Director, Proponent consulting    | 08 07 2010 08:16:29 +0000
very Good story
  Commented by  Manoj Kumar, Sr: Manager - QA, ARCHETYPE GROUP, INDIA    | 08 07 2010 08:01:24 +0000
Rating : +1 
A touching story Ali.. Thanks for reminding the value of relation and true love which is now a days very rare to see 
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