ABOUT THIS POST

Do you guys know what role mangoes played in our evolution? You see, we were in a swamp and we crawled out of the swamp. Let's face it, it wasn't a nice place to live... a swamp. So we crawled out of the swamp because ... we were reaching out to a new food source called mangoes. Yes, we evolved because of mangoes.

Now next thing, billions of years later in a land just east of Afghanistan and south of the Himalayas, at a dinner table, a kid tells his parents that he is an atheist.  His family continues to eat, it isn't really that big of a deal. Religion is like choosing which football team to support in the English Premier League. Then he says something else. Something that will change his life forever. Something that might cost him his life.  

He says he doesn't like mangoes.

Suddenly his mother has her eyes wide open, his father sits back and stares at him. The stare was similar to when he was found smoking a cig for the very first time. It was like when he totaled the car or was found getting a BJ from the girl next door. 

His mother started crying... "Tell me anything but this. Tell me you're gay, you got a girl pregnant, you shot the Governor, tell me you were caught escaping a siege in a burka, tell me anything but this .... Please".

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The country they live in is called The Mango Republic. Mango is the official state fruit. And the country was founded on the idea that there are two kinds of fruits in the subcontinent, Mangoes and everything else. And that people who like Mangoes have the right to a separate homeland. The founder of the nation once said, "You are free to eat your apples, your berries, your mangoes but in due course of time all of you will like mangoes and nothing else". He also said something prophetic, "Mango lover ... Musibat mien ... Ghabraya Nahinnn kartaaa".

With time the state adopted the specific "sefaid (white) chaunsa Mango" as the official fruit of the country instead of mangoes in general. It also declared that Langra Mangoes are not actually mangoes. And everyone in the nation now has to sign and testify that Langra mango is not really a mango whenever they sign up for a passport, ID card, Driver's license or fill a form for a university. And if a person calls a Langra Mango a Mango he will be jailed. Instead he has to say "Langra fruit". And the place where they grow them as a "Place of Langra Fruit" instead of Mango Garden.

It also passed a law, called the article 295-M,

"Who ever defiles the sacred name of Mangoes in actions, words written or spoken, or in gesture will be punishable by death",

it was also inscribed in the constitution that

"No fruit contrary to Mangoes will be used.".

The country also started housing mango militants that would take out anyone on earth that did not accept mangoes as the one true fruit.

Years later a governor stood up for a poor lady who said she doesn't like mangoes. The governor just said that the poor lady should have a right to say that she doesn't like mangoes. The Governor was shot by one of his guards and his son was kidnapped.

This is one Nation under one Mango .... Mango bless Pakistan and no place else.

This sounds stupid?

It was meant to.


PAKISTANI ATHEISTS AND AGNOSTICS.
www.e-paa.org