| Topic : Performance Management |
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Manufacturing & Engineering Professionals |
Construction Planning & Management |
Energy Professionals |
11 more ...
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Activity:
9 comments
535 views
last activity : 07 06 2010 20:18:04 +0000
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Some of the management heights
01. Promotion
One: I think we should promote that gye, he is performing consistently
Other: I don't think so...he already looks so happy...we will promote him, if he resigns...!!
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02. Poor young chap..
Poor young chap... he attended a seminar organized by management..."ADMIT MISTAKE AND EARN RESPECT"....he admitted one..they sacked him !!!
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03. Sales Director vs Sales Engineer
Senior: Here...the management is pleased to promote you....Dy.Sales Director
Junioer: Sir, what will be the change in my role?
Senior: None... you will continue functioning as Sr Sales Engineer.
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04. Talent Retention AND/OR down sizing
Senior: After you become supervisor of the team, many people have left the organization...they probably realized that, there is no future working under you.....the management has viewed the situation seriously and concluded that...you have helped the cause of head counts under control so you are promoted as "GLOBAL DOWN SIZING MANAGER"
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05. Maintenance cost
Old age assistant: That new joinees are getting much more than most of us...is it the right way to treat your old assets???
Manager : Our emplyees are assets for the company but keep in mind...that assets also depreciate with time....as a result we have to get new ones at higher cost and reduce the maintenance cost of the old ones.
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06. Performance appraisal
Poultry farm owners to : From tomorrow all of you have to lay minimum two eggs, if the target is not achieved there is a escalation from client.
All : we have done todays task
Farm owner to one: Why have you layed just one egg today?
One: Sir, I have done atleast that much for the fear of appraisal....otherwise actually I am a COCK
REAL PERFORMANCE PRESSURE......!!!!
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