Some Really Funny Ones

1) A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

2) Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

3) The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

4) When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

5) Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.  After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

6) A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

7) A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?' And the father replied, 'I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.

8) A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, 'If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!' The wife replied, 'My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here.

9) Dear God, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods;

  Because , if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.