Stay out of reverse

Reverse, in a psychological sense, works the same as the reverse gear in your car – it takes you backward. And, like your car, if you want to change direction and begin moving forward, you must shift gears completely. It’s impossible to move forward in reverse gear.
   
The way reverse sounds in day-to-day living is this: "Can you believe what happened yesterday? Those guys were jerks. Every time I work on something, it gets messed up. That’s the sixth time this week our deliveries were delayed. I’m still mad at what she said to me." There are an unlimited number of possible examples. Anytime you are fixated, immobilized, absorbed in, or even overly concerned with something that is over – whether it happened this morning or ten years ago – constitutes reverse gear. I challenge you to take an honest look at how often you (and probably most people you know) are focused in reverse. You may be shocked.
   
The way you can tell if you are in reverse gear is simple. It will feel heavy and serious. You won’t be moving forward; you might even be moving backward. You’ll be complaining about things, people, circumstances, events, rules, problems, and concerns that are, for the most part, over and done with. Being in reverse saps the joy out of whatever you are doing. It’s boring, unforgiving and counterproductive.
   
As you notice your thoughts drifting backward, remind yourself that the past is over and done with. Then, gently and easily, guide yourself back to the here and now. All it takes is a little patience and some practice. Pretty soon, your tendency to be in reverse gear will be a part of your past.