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Topic : corporate culture
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The Corporate language !! by Girish Nair, HR Executive, I-Link Software Pvt. Ltd.

The Corporate language !!

By : Girish Nair, HR Executive, I-Link Software Pvt. Ltd.
Keywords :

Corporate

Language

Humour

Activity:  24 comments  1156 views  last activity : 07 06 2010 20:18:04 +0000
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The Corporate language !!


"We will do it"
means
" You will do it"


"You have done a great job"
means
"More work to be given to you"


"We are working on it"
means
"We have not yet started working on the same"


"Tomorrow first thing in the morning"
means
"Its not getting done...
At least not tomorrow !".


"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views"
means
"I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"


"There was a slight miscommunication"
means
"We had actually lied"


"Lets call a meeting and discuss"
means
"I have no time now, will talk later"


"We can always do it"
means
"We actually cannot do the same on time"


"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline"
means
"The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."


"We had slight differences of opinion"
means
"We had actually fought"


"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you"
means
"Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"


"You should have told me earlier"
means
"Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"


"We need to find out the real reason"
means
"Well I will tell you where your fault is"


"Well... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected"
means
"Well you know..."


"We are a team"
means
"I am not the only one to be blamed"


"That's actually a good question"
means
"I do not know anything about it"









THIS IS THE BEST



"All the Best"
means
" You are in trouble"
 Top Comment : GUNDUPAGI MANJUNATH   | 07 07 2008 00:42:45 +0000
very funny good some releif from stresses mind
go to top
 
24 comments on "The Corporate language !!"
Sort by: Most Recent Top Rated 
very true and witty
  Commented by  abraham joseph, SBU/Profit Center Head, Style Spa Furniture Ltd    | 03 16 2009 14:11:19 +0000 
true in some extentd
  Commented by  Vinod Yadav, Marketing Manager, L & T    | 03 12 2009 04:20:51 +0000 
hahaha, 
truly a corporate twospeak.
  Commented by  rashmi gopal, HR Executive, Vinfosystems    | 01 23 2009 05:46:35 +0000 
good article
  Commented by  Sarvesh Kumar Vijay, SBU/Profit Center Head, Amtek Auto    | 01 22 2009 09:07:05 +0000 
This in infact a real world
  Commented by  mohd arif bootwala, Head/VP/GM-Insurance Operations, Parsoli Insurance brokers    | 12 31 2008 06:23:02 +0000 
Very nice, good one
  Commented by  bahadur singh, Service/Maintenance Engineer, Bajaj Auto    | 12 30 2008 14:56:25 +0000 
actual condition of the corporate world
  Commented by  Vinayarajan KV, Head/VP/GM-Sales Tech    | 10 28 2008 11:18:56 +0000 
true to an extent
  Commented by  varsha mishra, Analytical Chemistry Manager, rfrac    | 10 28 2008 06:16:48 +0000 
very true 

thanks
  Commented by  Anil Tadmari, Head/VP/GM-Corporate Planning/Strategy, MACCAFERRI    | 07 16 2008 01:12:03 +0000
Rating : +1  
Good one.
Rating : +2  
Ok Ok ..very amusing..but always true
  Commented by  Basab Nandi, Associate Director, MindTree    | 07 15 2008 05:13:09 +0000
Rating : +3  
Exaggerated to the verge of truth
  Commented by  Dipak Mawale, Senior Executive, Harbinger Knowledge Products    | 07 14 2008 14:32:56 +0000
Rating : +1  
Nice to read it..thnx for sharing this with us :)
  Commented by  SHIVENDRA KUMAR JHA, Project Manager    | 07 12 2008 03:40:07 +0000
Rating : +3  
Funny but True----
  Commented by  Bandi Kanna, Head/VP/GM-Corporate Planning/Strategy Almasa Facility Services LLC    | 07 11 2008 06:35:06 +0000
Rating : +3  
Its the turuth and very aptly put.
This is what really happens in real corporate life
  Commented by  veguru vijayakumar babu, General Manager, Sujana Group Of Companies    | 07 11 2008 03:57:45 +0000
Rating : +3  
Very humorous ..
  Commented by  Jambu Iyer, International Property Consultant    | 07 10 2008 03:14:17 +0000
Rating : +3  
unravelling the corporate hypocracy.......

good one....keep going....
  Commented by  Tajinder Pal, Statistical Analyst - Reporting Statistician, Novartis    | 07 09 2008 04:45:14 +0000
Rating : +2  
good collection... to the point
  Commented by  Sourav Chatterjee, IT Engineer- CMC Limited-ATata Enterprise    | 07 08 2008 02:06:02 +0000
Rating : +2  
nice article
  Commented by  Srirekha, Senior Consultant EC-Manage India Pvt Ltd    | 07 08 2008 00:53:59 +0000
Rating : +2  
thats true......
  Commented by  Indira Vemu, Staffing Intelligroup    | 07 07 2008 06:20:00 +0000
Rating : +4  
funny and true mostly
  Commented by  GUNDUPAGI MANJUNATH, Research Associate/Analyst AXIS BUILDZONE (INDIA) PVT LTD    | 07 07 2008 00:42:45 +0000
Rating : +3  
very funny 
good some releif from stresses mind
  Commented by  K Rajesh, Sales/BD Manager, US Based Software Company    | 07 07 2008 00:12:59 +0000
Rating : +3  
exc article
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