Baba Ramdev and Osama bin Laden!

BABA RAMDEV AND OSAMA BIN LADEN

Did Baba Ramdev assist Osama Bin Laden? I tend to suspect that despite appearances people who appear totally different may secretly have much in common. I suspected that Baba Ramdev had some link with OBL. The beard is just one. Baba learnt Yoga from teachers who lived in caves-something OBL did, lived in caves that is.But my secret investigations revealed something known only to me , my private detective friend Alphonso and US spies . It is now widely known that when the US Seals raided OBL’s den they found something unusual—herbal Viagra pills. The question that is perplexing sleuths in the US, India and Pakistan is this —Did these herbal pulls come from Baba Ramdev’s factory ?Watch this space.

These are intriguing times and the media does not know or is afraid to tell you the whole truth. It is in situations like these that Alphonso comes into play.For example I had arranged to tap the telephone conversations between Jayalalithaa and Sonia Gandhi. It is common knowledge that Sonia rang up the TN heroine soon after she was sworn in and invited her for a cup of tea at 10 Janpath. The media went into a frenzy about this ,speculating that a major political re- alignment was in the offing. We were not told if the invitation was accepted. But Alphonso has got inside information –that is what phone tapping is all about. The conversation was as follows: SONIA[S] : Hello Jaya amma ,Congrats for your incredible victory. JAYALALITHAA[J] :Thanks Sonia, mama mia. S: Warm welcome to the fraternity of female bosses. J:Thanks again. S:May I Invite you to my residence for a cup of tea? J:I am afraid I am not in a position to accept the invite. S:Of course I can understand .You may be busy with cabinet formation. J: Not at all. No doubt all my partymen are falling at my feet but that is the mandated posture in my party. S:I can empathise since that is also the posture I want in my party. But once you are through with the shastanga pranam maybe you could drop in. J: I insist I may not care to do so. S: Who cannot see the pressures of living up to election promises. I myself am unable to deliver. J: Delivering on promises is not difficult. In a year’s time I will deliver and feel bored for the 4 years thereafter. S: I see. Then it must be Karunanidhi and your determination to……. J: That too is not problem .His own family will implode. At this point ‘J’ switched off the phone. Sonia was agitated .She was not used to this style of peremptory treatment. She rang up P.Chidambaram and narrated the sequence of the conversation. PC –a Tamilian—knew where exactly Sonia had erred. P: Madam you have been advised wrongly by Vasan son of G.K.Moopanar. I had told your advisors not to trust G.K.Vasan. Vasan deliberately failed to tell you some significant facts. S:What are the facts P.C? P:Madam you must not invite Jaya for tea .That very suggestion is anathema to her and most other Tamilians. Please invite her to kaapi’ The other telephone tap was a talk between the White House and Didi [Mamta] Apparently it was Didi who initiated the call. She was keen to invite US investments to West Bengal.

The call went as follows: DIDI[D] Obama moshoy I inbite inbestments to my state .

Obama [O] :I am afraid not.
D :Bhy?.Is it because of the strikes and bandhs that my state is infamous for ?
O:Not at all. I am used to Republican Senators filibustering and delaying legislations.
D: Is it fear that US businessmen will be met with black flags by leftists ?
O: Not at all. I can handle black flags even in Pakistan.
D: But….
O:I think I will let Michelle do the talking. [Obama hands over the phone to Michelle]
M:Hi, My husband is a trifle busy. He wants me to talk to you .You know what?Barack is most embarrassed at the way you and your countrymen wear and proudly refer to Hawaii chappals. Barack hails from Hawaii and he says he has never seen anyone wearing that kind of slippers . That apart we had been to Hollywood where we met a Bollywood actress-Rakhi Seventh something. She sang a song that went like this ‘ didi tera devar deewana’ [Your ambassador here translated it as ‘Didi’s brother in law is mad ’. If your brother in law is mad I wonder if you….”