Great Invention Idea? Frameless Glasses Are Bolted Onto Your Face!

My ruminations about getting older, when I first learned I needed reading glasses, were quickly dispelled when I placed an order for some designer frames and the optician handed me a bill for several hundred dollars.

My fear of aging was immediately replaced by my fear of losing or breaking my new glasses! The optician suggested one of those eyeglass chains, the cute ones with the beads on them, but I was still trying to hang on to some semblance of my disappearing youth, so I rejected this most practical device. To my surprise, there wasn’t anything else she could offer me to keep my investment safe. “Oh no, what’s a girl to do?” I wondered out loud. Well, if she’s a hip, alternative sort of gal she could bolt the glasses on to her face.

That’s right, United States patent #6557994, was issued in 2002 for Frameless Glasses Attaching to Body Piercing Studs in your eyebrows, or across the bridge of your nose!

 It seems at some point the inventor, John Rose, concluded that eyeglass arms were just too unsightly and that it would be so much better if we could just anchor the glasses to our faces! Anyway, the beauty of this invention is that the aging effects of the glasses are cancelled out by the cool, young effect of the body piercing on your face! The bad news however, is that with your glasses secured to your face you’ll never miss an opportunity to see how awful you look!

United States patent 6557994 delivers a fail-proof method for keeping your eyeglasses safe. But the idea of a strong gust of wind getting caught between the eyeglass lenses and the face makes me wince (ouch!). And ever since stumbling upon this patent I can’t get images of Hellraiser’s “Pinhead” out of my mind. That’s why John Rose’s, Frameless Glasses Attaching to Body Piercing Studs is my choice for second spooky patent pick of the year.

(source: funny patents and inventions)